What is love? You’ve been wrong all this while.

What is love?”
I have asked myself this question for a long time. I sometimes think that I do know what it means. But, it’s just that, time and again, we like to contort the meaning of love to suit our own whims and fancies. So, what do I really know, then? I know that this one of the most important questions you will ask yourself, or someone else. I also know that this will be one of the most difficult questions to answer; and yet, it will be the simplest questions to answer. Makes sense? We like to believe that our first crush is love; the first person we date is love; the first person who breaks our hearts is love; the first person we sleep with is love, and so on. Maybe, to some degree, they do have some aspect that closely resembles love – fascination, lust, want, need, desire, etc. We associate these adjectives with love. But, love is more than just a few mere words. Love isn’t just a date, a crush or a fling. Neither is it just sex. No. Love is all of this, yes. But, it is also above all of this
Love is when you can be miles apart and, yet feel like you are connected like the two of you are sitting just next to one another. Love is going to their graduation because not just that theyd like you being there but because you really really wish to be there for them. Not just for them, but your happiness too. Being with them as a friend or anything really, just being with them. Love is when the other person has the ability to challenge you as a person in every way possible. Love is when you are saved by one person in every way that a person can be saved (I took this one from the movie ‘Titanic’ and it’s true). Love is when you feel connected body, mind and soul. It’s when you know that you stand a chance to lose that one person and it makes you insecure. But, it wouldn’t matter to you as long as it means that it’s what the other person wants. It’s when you feel that annoying ache in the middle of your chest which goes all the way down to your left hand to your ring finger because there is a nerve that connects directly to your heart. That’s what heartache is.
But, love is also that misleading rogue that twists your heart into any shape it wants and creates an illusion which makes you lose all sense of logical reasoning. Love is a magician. It may, from time to time, make you see things that aren’t there and make you feel things that paralyse your sense of judgement.

It’s that state of blinding which you get accustomed to and then you start seeing things around you just the way they are, or ought to be. Only, it’s too late because by that time, you will have already gone too deep in to the tunnel and the only way out is the way forward. And at some point in our lives, we will all have passed through this blinding tunnel. It’s true; a hard truth.
Remember the time when you had a crush on that girl who you thought was the most beautiful girl you had ever seen? And you couldn’t stop looking at her, like she was an angel of salvation who had come to save you from eternal damnation. And then you grinned like an idiot and tried to tell her but, never really got down to it. And then she went and friend-zoned you and you felt your whole world crashing in.

What about that girl you left for someone else? The one you had long conversations with about life, love, music, childhood and other irrelevant stuff – do you remember her? She was the girl you met at a random gig. She was the random one. But, she was also the only one who cared for you like no one else had ever done before. She was the one who made you feel different about yourself whenever you were with her. You could forget the bad stuff, all the negativity the people around you brought. She made you feel special, like the only guy in the world. She was your best friend. But, you never actually told her because you don’t do that. You are the alpha male who has the ladies waiting for you to talk to them and get into bed with them. You have a reputation of being the quintessential ladies’ man. She knew that, didn’t she? She just didn’t give a shit about what you were to others. She was too honest to be just another girl you could sleep around with. She was the only one who didn’t want to sleep around with you. And she was the only one you didn’t just want to sleep around with.
You wanted to wake up to her face every morning for the rest of your life. You wanted to kiss her lips like your whole life depended on it. She melted your heart and had the power to turn you into a fool in love. But, you never said it. Then one day, you became scared. You didn’t know how to give up everything for one person who meant the world to you. You didn’t want to lose her. But, you had other things on your mind so pushed love away. You were scared that you would break her heart. So, you took a step backwards. And you went ahead and broke her heart, anyway.
Love, my friend is all of this and none of this. It is the heart beat and the heart break. It is the laughter and the teardrop. It’s the promise and the betrayal. It is a beautiful disaster that we all must experience in order to learn about people and about life and about finding and seeking. Love can come from nothing and nowhere and turn something into everything.
Love changes you. It changes you in every possible way that it possibly can. It turns the wise into the fool and the wanderer into the seeker. It turns animals into humans and humans into animals. It shapes you and destroys you. It makes you happy, sad, angry, jealous, vulnerable and stupid. It fools you into thinking you have the world and it enlightens you to the world you could have. It makes you and it breaks you; only to make you again. Such is the power of love.
It changes your entire mind set. Maybe that girl you were just sleeping with will always paint your picture on every canvas or photograph every face that reminds her of you. Maybe the girl who broke your heart , will have hardened your heart and turned you into not wanting to be in love anymore just because you just don’t have the emotional stamina to put yourself out there anymore. Maybe that girl whose heart you broke for loving her too much will never love again. Maybe you will never love anyone as much as you loved her, but you will live in denial just to prove a point. Maybe you will destroy yourself for denying your heart the truest kind of love it could ever feel. Maybe…
Who’s to say what love will do to you, or how it will leave you in the end. Who’s to say you will ever find the true love you seek or if you will ever love again. Love is unpredictable, like that. It finds you just when you aren’t looking at all. And it leaves you wanting; begging, even. I guess you just make the most of it as long as it lasts and, in whatever small amount that it is available to you – a crush, a fling, a soul mate, or a twin flame.
But, every so often, love will be the reason for your existence. Every so often one out of a hundred people will come to find a love that is transcendental; a love that cancels out every other hurt you’ve felt in the past; a love that will become a path way for you to walk on and find yourself. Every so often, you will find a love that is worth holding on to for dear life because love, in itself, is life. It will be the kind of love that gets through to you; opens up every souring wound once again, just to be reminded that you can be filled with light. Every so often, you will find a love that lets the light in.
And every so often, you will have a chance at love; to do it all over again; this time, for real and for keeps. Love is an opportunity. You just have to make the most of it—for today, for tomorrow and sometimes—if you’re really blessed—forever.

And dear stranger, This wishful thinking renders our existence as a sum of all our heartbreaks; heartbreaks that were a result of our insistence on basing romance on the “one”. What if I told you these heartbreaks were partly, our fault? That the relationships met their end despite us thinking that we’ve found the one is proof that love is not a person. It never can be. We’ve been looking at it wrong all this time.

What fosters true love instead is timing. People can’t be perfect, but timing can be. True love is timing; it is the simplest fact, and yet we’re too busy chasing the one to ever understand its significance.
The saying, love will come to you when the time is right may seem cliché, but hidden in it, are bowls full of truth. If your timing isn’t right, it doesn’t matter how right the person next to you is, something or the other will most definitely keep you apart. To subscribe to timing being synonymous with love, the first thing we need to accept is the fact that we need to stop yearning for “the one”.
When you’re ready to settle down, any girl –the one you bumped into in college by a mutual friend,  the one you right swiped on Tinder or even the one you met at a speed dating event–can be the person for you provided she wants to settle down too. She may not be the one, but she will be your one. You see, when you get the timing down pat, there’s very little that can go wrong.
Come to think of it, how do we even know who’s the one for us? If you hold on someone to their promise of being “the one” for you and magically gift you a happily-ever-after like it is in the movies, your relationship will be ripe for disaster. Life is never that simple, is it? It’s only when you spend time with someone for a long period of time, and they stick by you through thick and thin, will she be the one for you. In all these cases, the only marker that you need to look out for is undoubtedly, “timing”.
The greatest proof of love been intertwined with timing can be found hidden under the seven seasons of ‘How I Met Your Mother’. In the show, Ted, its lead, was a kind of person who believed in the serendipity of true love. But, he also believed in the magic of “the one”. He spent most of his prime searching for her; one who would have a yellow umbrella would love him like there’s no tomorrow and would like the same things as him. After six seasons of being single, Ted even found her. They got married, had kids and he, at last, told them how he met their mother. But the story didn’t just end at that, for Ted’s “one” died. The show came to its fruitful end not because Ted had finally found “the one”, but when Ted and Robin rekindle their relationship because both secretly want to.

In short, their timing was right. HIMYM might have tricked us into steadfastly believing that we will always find “the one” for us, but in reality, the show’s about ending up with the person who’s been there all along at the right time in your life. Ted and Robin had dated once and remained best friends, but they never end up together until the very end, because that’s when both of their timing was right. It’s also what Robin tells Ted at one point during the show, “If you have chemistry, you need only one thing. Timing.”


The I.C.S.E Illusion 

I remember in my first week of college, I met people who pronounced the word “robot” as “Robert” and called the show “Entourage” as “into-rage”. I would secretly snigger. My posh, Central Pune self had recently finished his ICSE schooling with proper English elocution, and this made him feel a little superior to these Robert people. Little did I know, this into-rage of Roberts would be more street-smart than my hoity self could ever hope to be.

Everybody who’s been through the Indian school system knows that between trigonometry, balancing equations, and botany, our curricula has more futile subjects than a Bollywood film has songs. And if you happen to be one of the kids who went to a “top school”, then not only were you full of this futile information but also sorely lacking in the important stuff. For instance, my command over Hindi is only marginally better than Katrina Kaif’s, and I still haven’t learned the art of navigating the Indian queue, which takes any form but a straight line. It’s only after graduation that you really figure out that all that the crisp, formal uniforms and polished, international schooling did was prepare you for any situation except a real-life one.

Top schools” can be found in metros across the country, usually in their poshest nooks and crannies like South Bombay and All around Pune. More money is probably spent on sending students to school in chauffeur-driven sedans than it would take to educate an entire village. But these schools peddle stuff like “global methods” and “an international outlook”, which are admittedly nice things to hear but leave you helpless if you get accosted by a traffic cop, While I frantically pulled out my licence, my non-fancy school friend winked and chatted with him in Marathi. A “kaay dada chukla” later, we were on our way home. The only knowledge I have of Marathi is that ajoba is not a berry (because it whymes with jojoba) but a grandfather. Between that titbit and singing “Yere Yere Pausa” every time it rains, I can’t say that my supposedly superior schooling was helpful in making me fluent in local languages. Or dealing with bureaucracy for that matter.

I have proudly collected merit certificates in English literature and gold medals from spelling bees in my schooling years while the Roberts of the world were busy cutting class, running across train tracks, and sneaking into theatres to watch the latest David Dhawan movie. While they learnt how to wink at girls across darkened theatres, I would learn that despite what Tinder might want you to think, Sapiosexuals aren’t everywhere. Once I left school, I quickly learned that using words with more than three syllables only makes you the punchline of a Shashi Tharoor-themed joke.

 Eloquent oration is not the only Tharoorian activity that is valued in school and mocked in the outside world. Participating in a Model United Nations is the holy grail of student experience at the nation’s best schools. You score brownie points with teachers, get to mingle with cute students from other schools, and boost your ego by feeling like all the world’s problems are just waiting for you to get a diploma so you can come solve them. Then you grow up and step into a world where Trump becomes the US president, the government wants to stalk you through AADHAR.  and the media’s favourite topic is the Bollywood scandals. That’s when you realise your laptop and misplaced sense of entitlement aren’t going to turn the world into your oyster. On the other hand, the Roberts are well-prepared for the chaos that rules our world. Thanks to their time spent in buildings that can only be called schools because of the presence of uniformed children, they’re already acquainted with violence, corruption , and how to deal with all the shit that life throws at you.

Even as your superiority complex starts to crumble, you try to take refuge in the fact that you’re still the torchbearer for cool. Your exposure to international media and refined tastes guarantee that much at least. Or so I thought, until the first time I found myself in the middle of a group discussion on which “Sarabai VS. Sarabai” character was the best. In the fancy little bubble I grew up in, Bollywood movies and TV was something we sneered at, but in the real world, we were the clueless ones. You realise you’re not the cat’s whiskers when people react to your clever ‘Friends’ references with blank stares before guffawing at any joke with a punchline that includes the word “soluchan”.

Ps. Dont know whats a “soluchan”? –https://youtu.be/CqdjsANuTxs

This, or this?

 It’s been two years since I left school, and any wild notions I had about my fancy education giving me an advantage in my adult life, have been eroded into nothingness by the passage of time. A decade of having the simplest of jokes explained to you just because the punchline wasn’t in English will do that to a person. I wonder now if instead of my fancy ICSE education I would have been better off in world where apathetic teachers ignore classes full of students and instead students autonomously educate themselves as they pass through the classes, leaving them free to pick up tips and techniques for survival instead of aceing an exam.

Here’s a word of advice to the next-generation of “global learners” currently gearing up for the real world. If you meet someone who pronounces robot as “Robert”, suppress the urge to laugh, and try to pay attention. They might not have gone to as fancy an institute as you, but they’re about to school you on life.


Blink, Blink, Blink.
The signal blinked red while the traffic in the city came to a halt . It was 7 pm, a cold winter evening in New York city, New York. On the 21st floor of the Van Houten skyscraper stayed Young Tim.

Now there was something peculiar about young Tim. He wasn’t just another normal child. Young Tim was a victim of a genetic imperfection called Osteogenesis imperfecta. Osteogenesis imperfecta restrained Tim to always be on a wheelchair since his bones were to brittle and weak to support his body, and even an attempt to stand up would eventually cause multiple fractures.

As Tim looked out of his floor to ceiling window out to the heavy commotion filled, traffic packed streets of New York one Saturday evening, he couldnt help but notice the beautiful weather that evening.

His eyes were aching since he needed to squint to see anything. He broke his spectacles by running his wheelchair over it by mistake.

The sky was bright Red and Orange, with hues of blue and silver. The climate was just perfect enough for Tim to wear his favorite blue and white sweater which had his favorite cartoon of SpongeBob on it. The sweater was gifted to him by his best friend last week on his birthday.

As Tim sipped his hot chocolate with his favorite cookies, he thought to himself, “I wonder if the others are as lucky as I am.” 

He felt grateful for his mother, and his pet cat that currently lay beside him snoozing off. He felt lucky for the house he was living in. He felt lucky that his mother could afford the additional cost of his medical charges and his tending. His father had died at an early age while being on a rescue Operation out in Afghanistan, but never did he feel that he was missing a parent thanks to his mother. She assumed the responsibility of his father’s as well as hers.

He heard the soft purring of the cat beside him,who just woke up from it’s slumber and blinked while looking at Tim in solemn silence. He tasted the aroma of chocolate lingering in his mouth, saw the beautiful hues in the sky while also looking down at the magnificent mess of lights radiating from the cars, the phones and the huge colourful neon sign boards which advertised his favorite Fillet-O-Fish burgers from Mac-Doodle, the local fast food chain. They flashed yellow and white and blue and green. 

The scene looked beautiful.


A New year, Same old resolution.

Alright, it’s been a long ass time I’ve posted anything up here on this website lately. Forgot I even had an account lately. The last two years have been phenomenally good as well as bad. The Good?-  I found this person I have feelings for I never had with anyone else. Gave up on stuff I didn’t see any future with. Made a few friends I would die for, actually thought about where I am going with my life and planned it.

Bad?- Lost so many friends I thought I would have throughout my life and just gave up on social life in general. Deleted all social media, found out that I am a loner (but I like it this way, so meh I’m not even complaining)

Anyway I have this really radical idea, that I’ll not promise a post every week like I did two years since that will just end up making this monotonous and not fun in general, and since when has creativity ever thrived in monotony? Therefore I have decided to post here whenever I feel like making up something creative , which will mostly be fiction and made up in my mind that id like to word it out.

The next thing that I’ll be posting is probably a small essay made up thinking of a word; any random word such as ‘blink’, or ‘drop’, or ” the imminent neuclear war that is bound to be happening, and we should not freak out about it because we’re going to die anyway”.

 Also, English isn’t my first language, Hindi is. So please forgive me for any/all grammatical errors. And I’d appreciate any criticisms on my work. I’d love it actually give em all to me hehe.

 Alright bringing you fresh, hot, new visual delights in 3,2,1.

Thoughts on ZP and other stuff!

Hi,i’m back 🙂 and i’m so sorry for this half a month long hiatus even though I promised i’d start blogging weekly or so.but i have some quite valid reasons to do so.First of all,my laptop wasn’t with me,and quite frankly i’m too lazy to blog on my computer…                           second of all,i was so busy in practicing for the award day, in which I received certificates for topping in Economics,and Arts,and was there in the same function for the choir sessions almost simultaneously ,which was quite frightening if you ask me,since i had to jump onto the stage to receive my award just after the singing…and well,the chief guest was the ex-defence general of the country.

Plus, I gave my name in for ZP (ZILLA PARISHAD) to represent my city for swimming,and long distance running(its probably gonna be 2 miles or so) completely sprinting. ZP is like super important for an athlete since it is like gate to further competition like the commonwealth games,or possibly even the olympics(however,these two platforms are also too farfetched).however,if one qualifies in for ZP,and wins,he further advances to representing his state,and then his country,simple as that.

so this week has been too exhausting,physically and mentally ; practices,jogging and swimming,college,accounting,studying deem to have completely taken over my entire free time during the day, but well, it’s fun,so no harm done.

well that’s it for this week,ive gotta gotta prepare for the upcoming exams next week,                  bye.

21st june,2016…






Hi,i’m Husain,and i just chanced upon this blog after one of my friends stated writing here… and i really haven’t exactly thought about what to write on this blog lately, I guess its just another one of my promises i keep,which i eventually break soon later on. :b

ill probably be writing a blog on a weekly basis,or whenever i feel like,describing all the interesting events happening throughout this year….

An abridged description about me; I’m 16,currently in 11th grade,an introvert,although totally LOVE  reading,travelling,swimming,running,video games,learning new languages,taking in new cultures, and sleeping (not even kidding… i sleep about 12-14 hours a day).

And i guess i don’t have any plans for my future, kind of a happy-go-lucky kinda guy, I could probably turn out to be the president of India,still wondering how I did it.

im currently Majoring in Commerce,learning French  and Marathi simultaneously,and im good at arts too…

anyways,i hope,in the distant future,that I read this blog,and remember all of my earlier memories (one of the major reasons i’ve started writing a blog,thank you wordpress)

ps.im really good at Photography,and these are some of my favorites…


A king Cobra…

yeah,these are the Himalayas…

DSCN1183.JPG                                                                     Solar Eclipse


I have a lot more of them,and its 1:30 am right now,and im really tired,so until then….

and if you feel like contacting me,then you could just email me at kapasi_husain@ymail.com,or message me on +918830688202, whichever’s more convenient…

good night, fellow reader….